Neil Raynard Abbey was born in Binghamton, New York, in 1943, the eldest child of four to father Walter Raynard Abbey and mother Virginia Grace Desotel. He spent most of his childhood years in his family home Levittown, Long Island, New York while his father was working as an engineer for IBM in New York City. When he was 13 years old, the family moved to Gainesville Florida when his father secured a teaching position at the University of Florida. He graduated from Gainesville High School in 1962, and directly attended the University of Florida.
In the midst of his study in the University, he visited his girlfriend in San Francisco and fell in love with the vibration of the city. He finally dropped out of the University of Florida and moved to San Francisco in the late 1960s. He continued his studies in UC Berkeley and graduated with B.A. degree majoring in Physiology in the early-1970s. He married his girlfriend in 1970 and their marriage ended in 1979. They maintained friendship for a few years until their beloved dog Shadow died. From the 1970s to the 1990s, Neil worked and studied in various fields as a salesman and computer programmer, including working for pharmaceutical companies, financial companies, and Chevron.
In 1991, he met Peijue (Paige) Chen, a Chinese immigrant in San Francisco. They got along very well despite the differences between their cultures and ages. They married in July 1997, their daughter Blythe was born in October 1998. When Blythe was 2, Neil stayed home to take care of Blythe full time while Paige was pursuing her further education and career. He devoted his love and intelligence to take care of Blythe, inspiring her to love nature, animals, people, and music. He volunteered in Blythe’s school, especially helping out the school’s music band. Additionally, he supported Paige’s studies and work: editing her graduate work, helping her with her job search, rehearsing interviews, and driving her (she was afraid of driving on freeway then-) to various job locations. He always had the mind to converse endlessly on life, love, and educating the next generation. “Taking care of the family was the most rewarding job in my whole life!” he often said to everyone, family members, friends and strangers.
A few of Neil’s interests were nature, listening to classical symphonic music, and collecting stamps. Above all he was fascinated about space and science fiction. One of his heroes was Carl Sagan. Every time he was questioned about whether the universe has extraterrestrial life, his answer was always positive. When being asked if he would board a spaceship with the alliances as done in the science fiction novels E.T and Contact, he always said “Yes” without hesitation. One of his stories from his youth was that he often skipped school to stay home, reading science fiction novels and listening to classical music. At one point, he had a collection of hundreds of science fiction books and recorded science movies and TV shows in a well-organized catalog.
Neil always had a very sharp mind with encyclopedic knowledge, a quick wit and great memory - especially with numbers. He learned something new each day with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, in his mid-70s, he experienced gradual cognitive decline. He refused to accept his fate for many years by continuing to play Jeopardy daily, organizing his collection of stamps, listening to classical music, and of course, watching Nature and NOVA on TV. Near the end of his life, he was listening to his favorite composer Jean Sibelius’s Finlandia with tears in his eyes. He died from illness at his home in Petaluma, California, in the morning of April 7, 2024. Paige was lying next to him with her hand on his heart.
Neil, Rest in Peace! Enjoy “42”! You’ll never walk alone with Blythe and Paige in your heart, and you in ours. We love you forever!
Paige Chen and Blythe Abbey in loving memory.
Petaluma,
California October 2024
