Bill was a multi-faceted person whose many sides were not visible to all.
Bill was a complex, interesting, sentimental, bright man. He had a dry sense of humor that I enjoyed. His love for me, his wife, was unconditional.
Bill was not perfect. He had flaws like the rest of us. He could be sarcastic. He ate too much, exercised little, and never quit smoking for good. He could not stand ignorance, especially in those who knew better, and he often became impatient. As our marriage went on, I became more sarcastic and he became more clumsy, one of my flaws. As partners, we resembled each other in many ways. We learned to compromise, remembering what was important and to not sweat the small stuff. Bill was not much for change, which I have often said is a good trait for a spouse. In 45 years, we owned two homes. We have had cats continually since 1981. He stayed with one company for ten years, then ran his business for 25. I never had the feeling he wanted a different partner, or that he thought the grass might have been greener elsewhere. I felt good knowing we had stability and longevity.
To love someone and have them love you back is a treasure, and that made our marriage a treasure. Bill was the only person who ever said he liked my smile. Just thinking about that makes me smile. He displayed emotion and physical sentiments, often asking for hugs and saying he loved me.
Bill was sentimental about a few people, in particular, his father, whom he adored. His father passed in 1996 and it wasn’t unusual for me to hear him cry softly in remembrance. He showed sorrow when friends passed on, some much too soon. Bill cried when each of our cats died and it was always up to me to handle what needed to be done, even though I was very sad, too. I admired his sentimentality and wished I could be more like him in that way.
Bill was quite intelligent. He was a National Merit Scholar out of high school. He never finished college because of Viet Nam, but it didn’t matter. He was well-read, very analytical, and self taught in whatever subject caught his interest. Throughout his life he read a newspaper every morning, did 2 or 3 hard crossword puzzles, in ink, including the hardest NY Times editions. He valued what I knew, which was often different from his knowledge. I felt respected in his presence for the person I am. He respected women, and considered himself a feminist, seeing the inequities in male/female roles. Puzzles aside, many people didn’t want to play Scrabble with him or be on the opposite end of a heated discussion. His high scores on tests in the Army enabled him to work on nuclear missiles in Germany. That experience led him to his AT&T career.
Bill was intrigued by the space program, and followed every new venture. A number of years ago, he asked that his ashes go up in space. I honored his wishes, and a vial of his ashes will be going up on a NASA flight in the Fall, 2022. Bill enjoyed watching the birds around our home, seeing the flowers bloom each spring, and even liked watching the squirrels run around. Our birdfeeders and birdbath were always refreshed. He built many of the birdhouses around the house. I enjoyed seeing this caring, environmentally friendly side of him, and because of his efforts, our backyard was designated a Certified Wildlife Habitat.
Building birdhouses was merely his latest creative expression. After his military time and living in Chicago, he pursued black-and-white photography. Later, after his stint at AT&T Long Lines, he taught himself to become a graphic designer. I was very proud of the work he did, and he had many happy clients at the company he started and ran, Prism Printing. He designed our home renovations, both in NC and in New Jersey. He had a good sense of color and placement, and our artwork had to be hung just so.
Bill was very supportive of me, respected my career, and helped me all the time. We stayed in the NY/NJ area for my career, when he would have progressed in his if we had moved back to the Midwest. He manned the BBQ grill at our home when I threw parties for my staff and cleaned the hot tub after the kids were in it. People around us knew he was proud of my success in business, and that felt great.
He put up with my business travel, creating a party atmosphere when I returned from a trip abroad. He was a great sounding board when I needed business advice (and sometimes when I didn’t).
In retirement, Bill did many projects within our home. Accomplishing each one made him feel good because it made our home better. Especially in the later years, he did projects—like replacing our deck—so I could enjoy and maintain it when he passed away. He did projects in New Jersey, too. Once when I was away on business, he built a large picnic area on our property. Another time he moved walls around to enhance our living space.
Bill had a fun side that could be described as gleefully childlike. When we first got back together, and for many years thereafter, we traveled around the US to ride roller coasters. He was not inhibited in public, and could relax and go with the flow of an amusement park. I loved that.
One time we went to the San Diego Zoo, and in a special enclosure, I remember we laughed together as we were surrounded by butterflies. We took nice vacations, some to kick back and relax, like being at the beach in Florida or Cancun. We enjoyed playing poker together—he was usually more successful than I was—and gambling at casinos. Sometimes the fun came in jokes he played. When our friend Ed turned 50, he inflated balloons with a message placed inside, asking people to call Ed to wish him a happy birthday. The balloons carried all over New Jersey and other states. Ed enjoyed that. There are plenty of other examples. Our life was infused with variety, and never boring.
One of our few long-standing traditions was to go to Tampa each March to watch the Yankees in spring training. I enjoyed seeing him take in the smells of the fresh cut grass and hotdogs rotating on a grill. We watched the people in the stands as well as the players. Yes, in the 1980s we went to Yankee stadium in New York, but there was something even more special about sharing spring training with him.
Bill was always generous, and I got lots of presents. And he was generous to his printing staff. Once, in New Jersey, he filled up a large van with food and Christmas gifts for an unknown family in need.
Bill was a skilled chef. He cooked for me, and it was very important to him that I liked what he prepared. He liked showing off for my friends with delicious foods they probably didn’t get at other homes. When he served, he seemed to be saying, “Look how much I love Cecelia.” I invited others to dinner so they would be as impressed with him as I was.
Our last non-hospital dinner together was a delayed anniversary celebration at Rey’s Steakhouse. We had a good meal and we had a lovely, intimate time together. I know it will continue to be a really nice memory for me in years to come.
